Fairy for Hire

The next time you go out for a meal take a moment to consider the wait staff at your restaurant of choice.  Odds are good you are in the midst of a community of scholars (in addition to a few highly successful basement dwellers.) I have multiple degrees from a highly accredited university and I serve breakfast and lunch in a tiny skirt.  I'm not alone.  I know would be biologists, teachers, journalists, doctors, and therapists who spend their expensive educations selling your favorite foods and beverages.  If their lucky.  There is a remarkable phenomenon that is, perhaps not unique to my generation.  We have been incredibly fortunate to receive educations only to tumble out, four years later and probably no wiser, into underemployment.

My graduation photo.

Now, a disclaimer: This is not one of those "Oh pity me! I've been wronged by society! My plan of action for this is to complain to you, the internet!" posts.  No, no, there are countless perfectly timed reasons why I, and many recent college grads, are duking it out for $10 an hour sales jobs.  It doesn't matter why.  What matters is what we're doing about it.  Because, as it turns out, success is all about experience.

I have applied to the following positions since graduating: Visitors Center Representative, Assistant Archivist,  Sales Rep, Sales Rep, Sales Rep, Administrative Assistant at a College, Administrative Assistant at a Business School, Administrative Assistant at somewhere else that needed assistance administrating, Front Desk Host at four different hotels, Concierge at two additional hotels, Group Sales at a theme park, and waitress. I have received several charming form letters telling me that "while we appreciate your interest in *insert job we're not giving you* you can just go suck it. Sincerely, Someone Who has Never Seen your Application." At first, this stings a little but, after the fifth of sixth time your inbox presents the same letter you start to build a callus and streamline your process.  I can now see the subject line and immediately open a pint of ice cream.  No reading required!  

And then she tried to use internships as experience! I kid you not!

   

But don't worry, dear readers, I've persevered and found many interesting and enlightening opportunities to get my bank account out of the double digits.  I returned to my roots and began selling eggs and breakfast meats to people who think I am a.) an unwed mother, b.) a high school dropout, c.) somehow mentally deficient or d.) just waiting for my perfect greasy truck driver to sweep me off my feet.  All of these are, of course, a perfect description of me.  Pay no mind to my lack of child, (do cats count?) college degree, freakishly large vocabulary, and very shiny engagement ring (regrettably, not given to me by a greasy truck driver...)  The trouble is, I'm just not making enough to save the way I'd like.  Lucky for me, an opportunity for a little financial windfall presented itself the other day.

Two elderly gentlemen with impressive ponytails sat at my table and enjoyed their country ham and grits.  As I came to pick up their paid check the man with the longer, more voluptuous ponytail looked up at me and asked, entirely politely, if I would be interested in posing nude for him to draw me for $200.  I didn't speak right away. Not just because I was shocked ($200? That's it? I really should be hitting the gym...) but because $200 was more than I make in a week in tips and a less Catholic-raised girl than myself would have considered the offer.  I, on the other hand, was working on a snappy comeback.  "Oh honey," I held up my engagement ring, "The only guy who's going to get to see me nude spent way more than that." I failed to inform him that that gentleman is still waiting on the return on his investment.  Why crush his spirits further than necessary?  

I'm still not entirely sure he was an artist...

"And then I said, I got yer job experience right here, sweetie!"

So maybe I'm not enjoying that cushy job working in a museum, wearing real clothes, and making enough to actually have a savings account, but I'm definitely gaining experience.  I'm learning resilience. I'm learning to accept rejection (something to which I am rather new.) I'm learning that just because you get told "No" 1000 times doesn't mean the next one isn't going to say "Yes." And I'm learning that it's worth the effort for that one yes.  In fact, it's better to get 1000 "no"s before that "yes" because when that yes finally comes, and it will come, you are going to appreciate that "yes." You're going to love that yes; you're going to get on your knees and cry over that "yes" even if it's not your dream job.  You're going to hang that "yes" on the fridge and take pride in it because you earned that yes.  So fellow grads, stay strong. It's coming. And to all our restaurant patrons, be kind. We're here earning our "yes."